(Sung to the tune of: The Candy Man)
Posted: 27 January 2012
Who can take a photon, send it through the sky,
Send it at the speed o'light until it hits your eye?
The Candy Man, oh the Candy Man can,
The Candy Man can 'cause he mixes it with quarks* and makes the theory taste good.
Who can take the Planck length, tie it in a bow,
Add six more dimensions; it's String Theory don't ya know.
The Candy Man, the Candy Man can,
The Candy Man can 'cause he mixes it with quarks and makes the theory taste good.
The Candy Man makes theories that he bakes improbable and mendacious;
Talk about improba'listic pitches, you can even turn to wishes.
Oh, who can take tomorrow, make it yesterday
Multiple realities to 'splain it all away?
The Candy Man, oh the Candy Man can,
The Candy Man can 'cause he mixes it with quarks and makes the theory taste good.
The Candy Man makes theories that he bakes complicated and confusin'.
Talk about your grand delusion, God's the one you are refusin'.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Who can take a theory, explain it all to you?
There's no need of God, pure chance'll do it all for you.
The Candy Man, oh the Candy Man can.
The Candy Man can cause he mixes it with quarks
And makes the theory taste good.
And the theory tastes good cause the Candy Man thinks it should.
*In case your wondering, quarks have flavor...